A Garbaholic Purity Test

By Vangelista, who is surely going to hell for this...

1.  Do you know what "SCA" stands for?

2.  Do you know what garb is?

3.  Do you own any garb?

4.  Do you own more than 5 pieces of garb?
    5.  10?
    6.  20?
    7.  You've given up counting?

8.  Do you have a garb closet?
    9.  A garb room?
    10. You've given up trying to keep it all in one place?

11. Do you sew?

12. Was your first sewing project garb-related?

13. Are the vast majority of your sewing projects garb-related?
    14. All of them?

15. Have you ever sewn garb for someone you weren't sleeping with or for someone 
you didn't give birth to?

16. Have you ever been paid to sew garb?

17. Do you have a fabric stash?
    18. Would a more accurate term for it be "hoard"?
    19. Are you the inspiration for the "she who dies" bumper sticker?

20. Do you shop at more than one fabric store?

21. Have you ever driven more than 40 miles out of your way to hit a fabric    
    store?
    22. 100?
    23. Made it a weekend trip?

24. Do you own a sewing kit?
    25. More than one?
    26. Organized by material (one for buttons, one for thread...)?
    27. Given up on the concept of "kits" and are now going with "crates"?

28. Have you ever made your own belt?
    29. Hat?
    30. Shoes?
    31. Jewelry?

32. Do you have a court outfit?
    33. More than one?

34. Have you ever received an award for your sewing?
    35. A Laurel? (2 pts)

36. Do you wear period underwear with your garb?

37. Have you ever served as an officer in the Arts & Sciences?
    38. Been your area's MOAS? (2 pts)

39. Do you have a "period"?
    40. Have you ever experienced "period drift"?

41. Is your main period after the year 1500?
    42. After 1550?

43. Do you blackwork?
    44. Trapunto?

45. If someone said TOAP, would you know what it meant?
    46. Would you be able to insta-explain why it's bad?

47. Have you chosen a mundane hairstyle just for how it looks with your garb?

48. Have you ever sewn garb on the way to an event?
    49. At the event?
    50. And it was garb you actively intended to wear at that event?

51. Did the "2am list" make perfect sense to you?

52. Would you characterize yourself as an authenticity freak?
    53. Would your friends?

54. When shown a portrait painted in your period, is there a very good chance 
    you can identify it?
    55. How about its artist?
    56. How about its year of creation (approx. if necessary) and medium?

57. If you ever go on vacation abroad, are you planning to visit "your" 
    country?
    58. Have you picked out what museums you'll hit already?

59. Do you cruise eBay and other vendor sites just for ideas?
    60. Do you feel you will never purchase garb because "I can do THAT!"

61. Have you ever made your own table accessories (e.g., tablecloth)?
    62. In a period pattern, of course?

63. Do you wear your garb to Renaissance festivals?
    64. But won't wear it on Halloween because it "feels like clothes"?

65. Have you ever had an insurance rider made up for your garb?
    66. Have you ever had to use it?

67. Do you own any sewing books?
    68. Garbmaking books?
    69. When you die, will your friends claw each others' eyes out to get to
        your garb books?

70. Have you ever made your own cord?

71. Have you ever dyed your own fabric? (Rit Dye-out doesn't count.)

72. Have you ever woven your own fabric?
    73. Do you own a floor loom?

74. Did you learn to knit so you could make cooler garb?

75. Do you have your own garb website?

76. Are you a member of any internet garb discussion lists?
    77. Do you Rialto?

78. Would it never occur to you to go to an event without rudimentary sewing 
    supplies?
    79. Have you ever forgotten duct tape but remembered your embroidery scissors?

80. Can you spot the vendor with the authentic garb?
    81. Do you know the owner?

82. Have you ever taught a garb class? 
    83. At a kingdom university such as RUM? (2 pts)

84. Have you ever gone to an event just for the vendors?
    85. Have you ever gotten a magazine subscription just for the ads?
    86. Ever gone to an event to show off your garb?

87. Do you know what sumptuary laws are for your Kingdom?
    88. For your persona? 
    89. Do they make you nervous?
    90. Do you follow them?

91. Do your cats know which cloth pile they are allowed to sleep on? 
    92. Do your children?
    93. Does your significant other know exactly which scissors are off limits? 

94. Do you eschew artificial fibers?
    95. Do you do it for authenticity?
 
96. Do you eschew sewing machines or anachronistic gadgets, even though you have lots 
    of them?

97. Do you have a garb buddy?

98. Have you ever had an apprentice?

99. Are you a little upset that you didn't score higher?

100. Have you already thought of additions to this list?

===========================

SCORE

1-10: Are you sure you're in the *S*ociety for *C*reative *A*nachronism?

11-30: You're in no danger. You like garb as much as the next gentle, but you don't 
go overboard.

31-60: You probably enjoy a reputation for your work. You also probably spend way 
more time than is strictly necessary on it.

61-80: Serious garbie. Make sure you share your knowledge!

81-100: There are no words to describe how gorgeous your garb is, how skilled you 
are, and how much time you devote to your craft. "Maniacal" and "obssessive" only go 
so far, I mean.
This page last updated: July 10, 2009
All text copyright Vangelista di Antonio Dellaluna, except where otherwise noted. All portraits are understood to be copyright- free and are presented as research aids only.